Monday, July 1, 2013
How I got to where I am today!
I enjoy Twitter so much; actually better than Facebook, although I contribute to both. I find that exchanging thoughts, ideas, & opinions with others helpful in dealing with my grief. After losing my grandchild some seventeen months ago, I was lost. My whole world was shattered & I had such a hole in my heart; like nothing I've ever felt before.
I'd lost both my parents, my beloved dog of eighteen years, Basil. That was nothing like this. I'd always heard how awful it was to lose a child, but nothing I read included the loss of a grandchild.
The day of the accident, one of my other grandchildren, my precious Darby & I were on our way home from church at the Cathedral of Light. We'd been attending for a few months and we both seemed to enjoy it. But that was before we got that awful that shattered our world.
Darby had answered to first call & I could tell it was something strange. When I asked, she looked at me and said, "Mom just said to come straight home". What for or what was she talking about, was all I could ask, but somehow we knew it was bad news. And it was. We finally pulled over & demanded that we be told what was wrong. Darby had thought there might be something wrong with her grandfather, my ex-husband But as we would soon know, it was Carson. She was "dead".
How do you react? We pulled the car over once again & I jumped out screaming & crying! I pounded on the ground & demanded to know if it was true. What kind of joke was this? It sure wasn't funny. Not funny at all.
For the rest of the drive home, we took turns driving & getting out & screaming. It was the longest & most tortuous ride of my life. It was the worst everything in my life. "Oh God, please let the be a mistake". "Not my Carson, God, not my Carson". I screamed from the deepest part of my soul. "Not Carson".
I'd lost both my parents, my beloved dog of eighteen years, Basil. That was nothing like this. I'd always heard how awful it was to lose a child, but nothing I read included the loss of a grandchild.
The day of the accident, one of my other grandchildren, my precious Darby & I were on our way home from church at the Cathedral of Light. We'd been attending for a few months and we both seemed to enjoy it. But that was before we got that awful that shattered our world.
Darby had answered to first call & I could tell it was something strange. When I asked, she looked at me and said, "Mom just said to come straight home". What for or what was she talking about, was all I could ask, but somehow we knew it was bad news. And it was. We finally pulled over & demanded that we be told what was wrong. Darby had thought there might be something wrong with her grandfather, my ex-husband But as we would soon know, it was Carson. She was "dead".
How do you react? We pulled the car over once again & I jumped out screaming & crying! I pounded on the ground & demanded to know if it was true. What kind of joke was this? It sure wasn't funny. Not funny at all.
For the rest of the drive home, we took turns driving & getting out & screaming. It was the longest & most tortuous ride of my life. It was the worst everything in my life. "Oh God, please let the be a mistake". "Not my Carson, God, not my Carson". I screamed from the deepest part of my soul. "Not Carson".
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)